You’ve been seeing the signs for months. Mom or Dad isn’t quite themselves — an appointment forgotten, a bill left unpaid, a familiar drive that somehow went wrong. When you raise it, they wave you off: “I’m just getting older.” Maybe that’s all it is. Stress, poor sleep, and ordinary aging can look the same from the outside. But if these are the early signs of dementia, they raise an urgent question: what can you do now, while your loved one can still take part in the decisions that affect them?
CAPACITY, NOT DIAGNOSIS, IS THE DEADLINE
Most families wait for a formal diagnosis before doing anything. Here’s what many don’t realize: legally, a diagnosis is not what decides whether someone can still make decisions. Capacity is — and the two run on separate clocks.
The medical clock starts when a doctor identifies decline. The legal clock keeps running as long as the person understands what they’re signing and why. Someone can be diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s and still have the legal capacity to sign a will, a trust, or a power of attorney. Capacity isn’t about being perfect; it’s about understanding. That makes early cognitive change one of the last windows in which your loved one can actively shape their own plan — while their decisions still carry full legal weight.
THE TWO-CLOCK REALITY
- Medical clock: starts at diagnosis — tracks symptoms and treatment.
- Legal clock: keeps running while the person still understands what they sign.
- The gap between them is your window to plan.
ACT WHILE THE WINDOW IS OPEN
That window doesn’t always close gradually. Acting while capacity remains lets your loved one — not a judge — decide who speaks for them. A few priorities matter most:
- Financial power of attorney. Lets a trusted person manage accounts and pay for care. Confirm it’s current and, ideally, immediately effective rather than “springing.”
- Medical power of attorney. Names who makes healthcare decisions, so a crisis isn’t met with guesswork or family disagreement.
- HIPAA authorization. Lets doctors keep designated family members informed. Without it, the conversation stops.
- Wills, trusts, and beneficiary designations. Review them now — a diagnosis is often when families discover nothing has been updated in years.
- A long-term care plan. Map how care will be funded — private funds, insurance, Medicaid, or Veterans benefits — before a crisis forces the question.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU WAIT TOO LONG
Once capacity is gone, most of these tools are off the table — you can’t sign what you no longer have the legal capacity to sign. Families then hit hard walls: banks refuse access, even on an outdated power of attorney; doctors can’t share information without authorization; bills and taxes go unpaid because no one has authority to act.
At that point the only path is often court. In Virginia, that means asking a judge to appoint a guardian to make personal and healthcare decisions and a conservator to manage finances — a process that is public, slow, costly, and supervised by the court. Worst of all, the judge decides who serves, which may not be the person your loved one would have chosen.
LET’S TALK
A dementia diagnosis changes more than healthcare — but it doesn’t have to mean losing control. At Alperin Law & Wealth, we bring legal, tax, wealth, and life care planning together under one roof, so Virginia families have a single team to call the moment something feels off. If you’re seeing the early signs in someone you love, let’s talk before the window narrows. A short conversation now can protect everything that matters later.